Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
