Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
