Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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