I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
