can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
operation harelip BJ is a go
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My breasts were aching with rage.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
