Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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