the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
