He passed out mid-signature
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
How external is "for external use only"?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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