the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Michael Bay diarrhea
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
