so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
