Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
