You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
