Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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