You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
