Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
