I am in a vortex of obligation.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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