Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
