you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
