Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
