I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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