Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
