So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
