Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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