some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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