I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
