i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
