I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
