My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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