I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i think my cat just said my name.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He shit in the fireplace
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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