I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
