Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
