Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
