marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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