Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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