Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
