Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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