adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
