I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's blow job season.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
