i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
