I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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