So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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