hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
