true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
