We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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