those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
