This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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