the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Even my vagina gasped.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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