how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
