DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
