We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
