I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I cockslap morals
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
