I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
